the blitz
GREETINGS SPORTS FANS AND WELCOME TO "THE BLITZ", YOUR ROUND-UP OF PHOENIX BLOODBOWL. I AM BJORNE MADMAN AND MY CO-HOST AS ALWAYS IS "SPLAT" THUMP-N-MAUL..​
​
OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKENDS THE PHOENIX LEAGUE OPENED THEIR DOORS FOR THE FIRST TIME TO INVITED GUESTS, COCKED DICE, FOR THE INAUGURAL PHOENIX INVITATIONAL. DIVIDED INTO FOUR TEAMS THEY WENT HEAD TO HEAD IN THE GLORIOUS SPORT OF BLOODBOWL SEVENS WITH CLUB PRIDE AT STAKE...
​​
SO LET'S GET A RUN DOWN ON THE SHENANIGANS STARTING WITH DAY ONE...​
​
WITH COCKED DICE BEING AN UNKNOWN QUANTITY IT WAS HARD TO PREDICT HOW THEY WERE GOING TO BE WHEN FACING OFF AGAINST THE PHOENIX COACHES BUT THEY HELD FIRM FROM THE OUTSET AND SHOWED THEY WERE NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED...
​
COCKED.... HARD... HURR HURR... SORRY.... FEELING A LITTLE CHILDISH RIGHT NOW...
​
REALLY, SPLAT? YOU NEED TO GROW UP!...
​
SORRY BJORNE... I'M STILL ONLY 103 SO JUST A YOUNG ZOMBIE...
​​
​AT THE END OF DAY ONE THEY TRAILED THE LEADERS, LEOFRIC, BY A SINGLE POINT AS WELL AS CHRIS'S NECRO JUST ONE POINT BEHIND JOHN'S NURGLE AT THE TOP OF THE LEADERBOARD....
​
ROT AND DECAY RISING TO THE TOP OF THE TABLE... THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS... THAT'S IF THEY WERE STILL THERE...
​​
THE GAMES THAT PLAYER'S WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO HAD MARK'S AMAZONS AND JOHN'S NURGLE ENDING IN A NO SCORE DRAW BUT THE SHOCK DEFEAT OF ALEC'S NORSE BY MARCUS' LIZARDS SHOWED THAT COACHES WERE THROWING THEIR ALL INTO THE TOURNAMENT.....​
​
LOSING TO MARCUS? MUST NOT BE JUST MY EARS NOT WORKING.... SHOULD BE ABUSING NOT LOSING....
​
IN THE SECOND GAME OF THE DAY OLLY'S CHAOS CHOSEN FINALLY MANAGED TO GET HIM A DRAW AGAINST SCOTT AND HIS RENEGADES FOR THE FIRST TIME....
​
SOMEONE GET SCOTT AN EXORCIST FOR HIS DICE FOR NUFFLES SAKE....
​
TOP FIVE
45 - JOHN
44 - CHRIS G
43 - SCOTT
42 - ROB
40 - MARCUS
​
102 - LEOFRIC (SCOTT)
101 - COCKED DICE
91 - GODIVA (MARK)
83 - PHOENIX (ALEC)​
AS WE ENTERED DAY TWO WE FIND TWO TEAM CAPTAINS UNAVAILABLE SO IT WAS TIME FOR THE OTHER GROUPS TO POUNCE ON THIS AND GRAB SOME POINTS....
​
I THINK SCOTT WAS LICKING HIS WOUNDS AFTER DRAWING WITH OLLY AND MARK SAW OLLY HOLDING OFF SCOTT AND WENT INTO HIDING...
​​
AFTER A POOR START TO THE TOURNAMENT ALEC'S NORSE MADE UP FOR IT GIVING CHRIS'S NECRO THEIR FIRST LOSS. TWO SHOCK DEFEATS ROUNDED OFF GAME THREE AS MARTIN'S CHAOS DWARVES SHUT OUT MARCUS' LIZARDS WITH A TWO-NIL VICTORY. THE BIGGEST SHOCK, EVEN FOR THE COACH THEMSELVES, WAS BEN'S DWARVES WHO RAMPAGED THROUGH CONOR'S OGRE DEFENSE WITH A THREE-NIL WIN. THIS WAS THE HIGHEST SCORING GAME SO FAR AND KEPT BEN WITHIN REACH OF A TROPHY....
​
NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT... ABUSE HIM AS PER CLUB RULES... HEY.... WAIT A MINUTE.... BEN?... SCORED THREE?!... ARE YOU SURE?..I DEMAND A RECOUNT!...
​​
IN GAME FOUR CONOR'S OGRES WERE STILL REELING FROM THIER SHOCK DEFEAT AND COULD DO NOTHING TO STOP JOHN'S NURGLE FROM SCORING TWICE AND SENDING FOUR PLAYERS TO THE CASUALTY BOX. CHRIS'S NECRO MADE UP FOR THIER FIRST LOSS AGAINST MARTIN'S CHAOS DWARVES AND PUSHED HIS TEAM TO A THIRTEEN POINT LEAD AT THE END OF DAY TWO....
​​
THIS STILL LEFT CHRIS BEHIND JOHN BY SIX POINTS GOING INTO THE FINAL DAY OF THE TOURNAMENT AND MEANING THE TWO WOULD GO HEAD TO HEAD ON THE FINAL DAY....
​
TOP FIVE
78 - JOHN
72 - CHRIS G
58 - IAN
55 - ALEC
54 - ROB
​
133 - COCKED DICE
120 - LEOFRIC (SCOTT)
113 - GODIVA (MARK)
112 - PHOENIX (ALEC)
​
I DON'T KNOW... INVITE THE OTHER GUYS TO PLAY AND THE COME HERE AND PLAY PROPERLY?!.... THINK WE MAY HAVE TO REWRITE THE TOURNAMENT RULES... GUESTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SCORE....
​​​​​
SO... AS WE ENTERED THE FINAL DAY IT WAS ALL TO PLAY FOR. THERE WERE STILL SIX PLAYERS WHO COULD TAKE THE OVERALL TROPHY AND ALL TEAMS WERE STILL IN THE THICK OF THE ACTION FOR THE TEAM TROPHY....
​
HEY!.... I'VE JUST SEEN THE LEADERBOARD.... BEN CAN WIN?!....
​
ALL EYES WERE ON THE MATCH-UP BETWEEN JOHN AND CHRIS AS A WIN FOR EITHER OF THESE WOULD MEAN THE CHAMPIONSHIP WOULD BE DECIDED THERE AND THEN....
​
NURGLE AND NECRO ON THE SAME FIELD?.... THINK THEY HAD BETTER JUST KNOCK DOWN THE STADIUM AFTERWARDS INSTEAD OF CLEANING IT....
​
WITH A FEW COACHES UNABLE TO ATTEND KARL'S WOOD ELVES HAD TO STEP UP TO FACE MARK'S AMAZONS....
​
DAMN... SCOTT IS TAKING THAT DRAW TO OLLY HARD ISN'T HE?....
THESE HANDED MARK HIS ONLY LOSS OF THE EVENT WITH A LITTLE BIT OF ELVEN BULLSHIT. BEN'S SHOT AT THE TROPHY WAS CUT SHORT AS MARTIN'S DWARVES TOOK CONTROL OF THE GAME FOR A TWO-NIL VICTORY...
SO NORMAL SERVICE IS RESUMED....
​
MARCUS'S LIZARDS FINALLY SOBERED UP AFTER CELEBRATING THEIR GAME ONE WIN AND TOOK ROB'S OGRES TO TASK WITH A THREE-ONE WIN. ALEC'S NORSE TOOK A BATTERING BUT HELD ON WITH A TWO-ONE WIN OVER IAN'S KHORNE.
​
ALL EYES THEN TURNED TO THE MAIN GAME BUT JOHN'S NURGLE HAD NO REPLY FOR CHRIS'S NECRO WHO CLAIMED A THREE-NIL WIN AND THE OVERALL TROPHY IN STYLE...​
​
SEE?!.... I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD REVIEW THE RULES....
​
AS THE SCORES WERE TALLIED UP THE RESULTS CAME IN...
​
OOOOH! LOSING TO MARCUS!... BY A POINT?... THAT'S GOTTA HURT...
​
INDIVIDUAL WINNER WENT TO CHRIS' NECRO AND THE RUNNER-UP TROPHY WENT TO MARTIN'S DWARVES AFTER A TIE-BREAK AGAINST JOHN'S NURGLE.
​​
TEAM SCORES
146 - LEOFRIC (SCOTT)
138 - COCKED DICE
134 - PHOENIX (ALEC)
125 - GODIVA (MARK)
​
TOP SCORER - CHRIS G BEATING ALEC IN A TIE BREAK
MOST CASUALTIES - JOHN
COMBINED TD & CASUALTIES - ALEC BEATING JOHN IN A TIE BREAK
​
AND BEN GOT A TROPHY THAT WASN'T WOODEN!...
​
PLAYER OF THE TOURNAMENT WENT TO CONOR WITH ROB A CLOSE SECOND PLACE...
​
EVERYONE JUST LOVED PICKING ON THOSE GNOBLARS I GUESS....
​
OUR REPORTERS MANAGED TO GRAB THE COCKED DICE TEAM CAPTAIN FOR A COMMENT. HE STATED "COCKED DICE WANT TO SAY A HUGE THANKS TO ALL AT PHOENIX. YOU WELCOMED US INTO YOUR CLUB AND WE HAD A GREAT TIME. FINGERS CROSSED FOR MANY MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO TRY AND WIN THE AWESOME HELMET"...
​
GROVELLING LITTLE B...
​
NOW, NOW... BE NICE TO OUR GUESTS... WE CAN TALK ABOUT THEM WHEN THEY'VE GONE...
​​​
SO THAT CLOSED THE CURTAIN ON THE FIRST PHOENIX INVITATIONAL WITH A RESOUNDING SUCCESS AND PLANS WERE PUT INTO PLACE TO RUN AGAIN DURING THE UPCOMING SUMMER WHERE LEOFRIC AND CHRIS WILL BE HOPING TO DEFEND THEIR TITLES.
​
​​