top of page
Fire

the blitz

_fa4ba14a-c5a9-4d23-8501-be7e45baa0cb_edited_edited_edited.jpg

GREETINGS SPORTS FANS AND WELCOME TO "THE BLITZ", YOUR ROUND-UP OF PHOENIX BLOODBOWL. I AM BJORNE MADMAN AND MY CO-HOST AS ALWAYS IS "SPLAT" THUMP-N-MAUL..

​

WITH ONLY TWO WEEKS UNTIL THE SEASON COMES TO AN END WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A QUICK RUNDOWN OF THE GAMES COMING UP....

​

WITH THE ELVISH GITS HANDING THE SNEAKY GITZ A DECISIVE 3-0 LOSS IT HAS PUT THE PHOENIX DIVISION IN THE HANDS OF THE MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES. THEY FACE THE ELVISH GITS THIS WEEK AND A 6 POINT VICTORY WILL SEAL THEIR VICTORY...

​

I THINK THEY WANTED PAYBACK FOR THE FIRST GAME. THINK THEY SHOULD SEND THE GATE MONEY TO THE FAMILIES OF THOSE WHO NEVER MADE IT OUT THE STADIUM....

​

WITH THE LOSS AGAINST THE ELVISH GITS THIS MEANS THEY NEED THE TOMBSTONES TO SUFFER THE SAME FATE THEY HAD AGAINST THE ELVISH GITS TO BE WITH A FIGHTING CHANCE WHEN THEY FACE THE TOMBSTONES IN WEEK TEN....

​

GOBLINS AND FIGHTING?! TWO WORDS THAT PERFECTLY GO TOGETHER....

​

THE ELVISH GITS HAVE KEPT A STEADY THIRD PLACE THROUGHOUT MOST OF THE SEASON BUT THEY CAN STILL SNEAK IN AND TAKE THE TITLE AT THE FINAL HURDLE...

​

IT'S JUST LIKE THE ELVES TO SNEAK IN AT THE END....

​

BUT THEY NEED TWO PERFECT GAMES AND THE TOP TWO TO DRAW IN THE FINAL WEEK...

​

NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE THE ELVES...THEY HAVE A HABIT OF SNEAKING TOUCHDOWNS IN WHEN NO-ONE IS LOOKING...

​

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TABLE THE BATTLE TO STAY UP IS DOWN TO A SINGLE GAME. WITH SHARKNADO'S LOSS TO BAD GNOMENS THEY NEED TO DEFEAT THE ELVISH GITS IN THE FINAL GAME OR THEY WILL SUFFER THE DEMOTION INTO LEOFRIC DIVISION. A WIN WILL PUT THEM IN A PLAY-OFF GAME AGAINST EITHER HOB NOB NASTY BOYS OR GOBUL D'GORK..

​

LOSING TO GNOMES?! OH THE SHAME OF IT! BUT THE LIZARDS HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO SCORE ALL SEASON... I EVEN HEARD THEY NEARLY LOST AGAINST FRASER AND HE WASN'T EVEN COACHING THIS SEASON..

 

NOW WE HEAD TO THE LEOFRIC DIVISION WHERE CONGRATULATIONS GO TO THE VARIANTS WHO HAVE ALREADY CLAIMED THE DIVISION TITLE AFTER THEIR 2-1 VICTORY OVER GOBUL D'GORK. ALONG WITH THE TOMBSTONES THESE TWO HAVE NOT LOST ONCE THIS SEASON...

​

I DID SAY NOT TO UNDER ESTIMATE ELVES BUT THE REST OF THE DIVISION DIDN'T LISTEN...

 

IT IS A TIGHT RUN RACE FOR SECOND BETWEEN HOB NOB NASTY BOYS AND GOBUL D'GORK WHO WILL GO HEAD TO HEAD IN THE FINAL WEEK. THE DWARVES HAVE A 3 POINT LEAD AT THE MOMENT AND WITH THE FIRST MATCH-UP BEING A DRAW THIS WILL ALSO BECOME THE TIEBREAKER TOO. GOBUL D'GORK NEED A WIN OR THEY WILL FACE EITHER SHARKNADO OR BAD GNOMENS FOR THE CHANCE TO MOVE UP..

​

WITH 42 CASUALTIES BETWEEN THEM THIS COULD GET MESSY. I HOPE THE GROUNDKEEPERS ARE BEING PAID OVERTIME FOR THIS ONE. BUT WHOEVER HAS TO FACE SHARKNADO IT SHOULD BE A WALK IN THE PARK AS THEY CAN'T EVEN BEAT GNOMES......

 

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DIVISION IT IS ALL TO PLAY FOR AS JUNKTOWN THROWERS ARE ONLY TWO POINTS AHEAD BUT JELLY BEANS HAVE A GAME IN HAND TO PLAY BEFORE THESE TWO GO HEAD TO HEAD IN THE FINAL GAME. JUNKTOWN THROWERS ARE COMING OFF A REMARKABLE 4-2 VICTORY OVER GOBUL D'GORK BUT IT IS NOT OVER YET. WITH JELLY BEANS RUNNING RIOT IN A 4-1 WIN LAST TIME THE THROWERS NEED TO STICK TO THE SAME PLAYBOOK AS THE DID AGAINST THE ORCS...

​

WHEN STUNTIES START FLYING THIS COULD BE ANYONE'S GAME. IT'LL EITHER BE A HIGH SCORING GAME OR THERE WILL BE LOT OF BODIES NEEDING CLEARING UP AFTERWARDS...

 

IN THE KNOCKOUT CUP ITS TIME FOR THE ORCS TO FACE THE CHOSEN WITH THE WINNER FACING THE DARK ELVES IN THE FINAL..

​

THE COACH OF THE YEAR AND WOODEN SPOON STATS ARE AS FOLLOWS

​

TOT NAME     (TD + CAS) GAMES LEFT

49    SCOTT    (18 + 31)     +1

36    KARL       (15 + 21)     +1

34    MARTIN  (13 + 21)     +1

28    ALEC       (19 + 9)       +2

26    JOHN      (16 + 10)     +2

25    OLLY        (12 + 13)

25    CHRIS       (20 + 5)      +1

22    CONOR    (15 + 7)      +1

16    MARCUS   (10 + 6)     +1

15    BEN          (12 + 3)      +2

 

GO SKAVEN!! I DON'T THINK THEIR COACH HAS MUCH MORE ROOM IN THE TROPHY CABINET. TROUBLE IS THEY ARE ALL WOODEN SPOONS. IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE ELSE GOT ONE...

​

​

SO THAT'S THE ROUNDUP AS WE ENTER THE FINAL FEW GAMES OF THE SEASON. WE WILL RETURN ONCE THE SEASON IS OVER WITH THE SEASON REVIEW....

​​​​​​​​

© 2023 by Phoenix Bloodbowl. Powered and secured by Wix

bottom of page