GREETINGS SPORTS FANS AND WELCOME TO "THE BLITZ", YOUR ROUND-UP OF PHOENIX BLOODBOWL. I AM BJORNE MADMAN AND MY CO-HOST AS ALWAYS IS "SPLAT" THUMP-N-MAUL..

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WELCOME TO THE FIRST BLITZ OF THE SEASON. WE ARE PART WAY THROUGH THE FOURTH SEASON HERE AT PHOENIX SO LET'S CATCH UP WITH THE RESULTS SO FAR...

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THE OPENING ROUND OF THE KNOCKOUT CUP AS ALWAYS HAD THE TOP COACHES FACING OFF AGAINST EACH OTHER...

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GOBUL D'GORK WON 3-1 AGAINST SHARKNADO AND MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES GOT A 2-0 VICTORY OVER BAD GNOMENS. THE HOB NOB NASTY BOYS LOST 2-0 TO NICE TO CLAW YOU. THE SNEAKY GITZ BEAT ELVISH GITS 2-1. THE REST OF THE TEAMS GOT A BYE INTO THE FOLLOWING ROUND....

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SO THE OLDER BROTHERS PICKS ON THEIR YOUNGER SIBLINGS..... AN EX-GOBLIN COACH SNEAKED BACK IN TO CAUSE SOME CHAOS.... AND TWO TEAMS OF GITS FOUGHT EACH OTHER?!! SOUNDS LIKE ITS BUSINESS AS USUAL ONCE MORE....

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IN WEEK ONE THE TWO FAVOURITES IN THE PHOENIX DIVISION GOT OFF TO A GOOD START WITH SNEAKY GITZ WINNING 3-0 AGAINST SHARKNADO AND MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES AWARDED A 2-0 VICTORY OVER FRASER. ELVISH GITS FOUGHT OFF BAD GNOMENS WITH A 3-2 WIN.....

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IN THE LEOFRIC DIVISION HOB NOB NASTY BOYS DREW 1-1 AGAINST JELLY BEANS AND 

GOBUL D'GORK WERE GIVEN A 2-0 OVER ORC OPS. JUNKTOWN THROWERS v THE VARIANTS IS TO BE CONTINUED AT A LATER DATE WITH THE VARIANTS CURRENTLY LEADING 2-1 AT HALF-TIME....

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WAIT?! THE SKAVEN GOT A DRAW? DID SOMEONE SNEAK IN A REPLACEMENT COACH WHEN NO-ONE WAS LOOKING?

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​IN WEEK TWO THE SNEAKY GITZ WERE AWARDED THE 2-0 VICTORY. ELVISH GITS COULD NOT HOLD OFF THE REIGNING CHAMPION AND HIS MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES AS THEY WON 2-1. SHARKNADO BEAT BAD GNOMENS 2-1.

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​​IN LEOFRIC THE HOB NOB NASTY BOYS GOT A FREE 2-0 AGAINST ORC OPS. THE JUNKTOWN THROWERS ALMOST DREW AGAINST GOBUL D’GORK BUT FOR A LAST MINUTE FAILED LANDING ENDING THE GAME 2-1 IN FAVOUR OF THE ORCS. JELLY BEANS COULD NOT OUTMANEUVER THE VARIANTS IN THE BATTLE OF THE SPEED TEAMS AS THE LOST 2-0.

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HAS THE GNOME COACH GOT NO SENSE OF SELF-PRESERVATION? FROGS LAST SEASON... GNOMES THIS ONE... WHAT'S HE PLAYING NEXT?.... CHEERLEADERS?

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WEEK THREE HAD THE STADIUM CLEAN UP CREW WORKING OVERTIME AS THE ELVISH GITS LOST 1-4 AGAINST THE SNEAKY GITZ WHO NARROWLY MISSED THE LEAGUE RECORD WITH 8 CASUALTIES. FRASER HANDED A 2-0 TO SHARKNADO AND THE BAD GNOMENS CONTINUED THEIR DISASTEROUS SEASON LOSING 0-3 MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES.

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JUNKTOWN THROWERS LOST 1-2 TO THE HOB NOB NASTY BOYS WHO HELD ON TO THEIR TOP SLOT IN LEOFRIC DIVISION. ORC OPS GAVE A 2-0 WIN TO JELLY BEANS. THE VARIANTS VERSUS GOBUL D’GORK CAME DOWN TO THE LAST TURN FOR BOTH TEAMS TO SNATCH A WIN BUT BOTH FAILED TO CAPITALISE AND IT ENDED IN A DRAW.

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THOSE DAMN GOBLINS ARE ON A MISSION THIS SEASON BUT THE ANGRY ELVES FIGHTING ANYTHING THAT MOVES DIDN'T HELP THEM....

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​SO WE LOOK AHEAD TO WEEK FOUR AND ITS CRUNCH-TIME IN BOTH DIVISIONS AS THE TOP TWO TEAMS WILL GO HEAD TO HEAD FOR THE FIRST TIME.

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SECOND PLACED MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES WILL FACE DIVISION LEADERS SNEAKY GITZ WITH A HUGE TEAM COST ADVANTAGE. SHARKNADO WILL FACE THE ELVISH GITS. BAD GNOMENS WILL GET THE WIN AGAINST FRASER.....

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IN LEOFRIC DIVISION GOBUL D’GORK WILL TAKE ON HOB NOB NASTY BOYS IN THE HOPES OF TAKING THE TOP SPOT. JELLY BEANS MEET THE JUNKTOWN THROWERS. THE VARIANTS WILL TAKE THE VICTORY OVER ORC OPS.....

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ARE THE PITCH CLEANING CREWS BEING PAID OVERTIME THIS WEEK? THE DIVISION TITLES ARE ON THE LINE AND THESE WILL NOT BE PRETTY....

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KNOCKOUT CUP ROUND TWO, THE LESS EXPERIENCED COACHES COME INTO THE FRAY AND THE DRAW WAS AS FOLLOWS...

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JUNKTOWN THROWERS WILL FACE GOBUL D’GORK ONCE AGAIN IN A REPEAT OF WEEK TWO. THE VARIANTS WILL PLAY ELVISH GITZ IN A BATTLE OF THE ELVES. JELLY BEANS WILL BE PRAYING FOR MERCY AS THEY DREW THE SHORT STRAW AND FACE SNEAKY GITZ. MOUSILLON TOMBSTONES FACE OFF AGAINST NICE TO CLAW YOU....

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I HEARD THE SIGHS OF RELIEF FROM THE TOP COACHES LEFT AS THEY FOUND THEY DIDN'T GET DRAWN AGAINST EACH OTHER YET...

 

WELL THEY HAD BETTER NOT GET COMPLACENT AS NUFFLE CAN ALWAYS COME FOR YOU WHEN YOU ARE NOT WATCHING....

 

WELL THAT'S A WRAP FOR THIS EPISODE OF THE BLITZ AND WE WILL RETURN LATER ON IN THE SEASON TO BRING YOU UP TO DATE WITH ALL THE NEWS....

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